Today’s Xulon Press Successful Author Spotlight features Andrea Krazeise, www.andreakrazeise.com, who wrote the book “He Came Back For Me – A Journey to Restoration” which recounts her journey to finding the father she never knew she had just to find out that he wanted her all along. It speaks candidly of a mother’s rejection and lies that affected a daughter’s view of the father she never knew. It is an insightful perspective of how children feel when they are emotionally abandoned by the absence of a parent – especially a father. Talking with Andrea, you get a real sense of longing to find out why someone would desert a child and the illuminating knowledge that, in fact, she was not abandoned, she was wanted and she was longed for – all points of validation for a child who felt rejected and unvalued. It is a story of victory for a lost child and fulfillment for a father who always wondered – where was his daughter?
As I began my conversation with Andrea, she spoke of a harsh reality she had to endure as her mother’s child: “It started off with my mom didn’t want me as a baby; she wanted to abort me. She was a 17 year old unwed mother in Germany. As a result, with her changing her mind and giving life to me (but not accepting my biological father), she left my native Germany, not telling my father, and came to America, where she met a new man. Had she accepted my biological father, I would have never come to America, or gotten married or started a crisis pregnancy center. She gave me life – and God had a plan all along for my life – look what He planned?”
I questioned “What one past experience changed your Life?” Andrea responded “My mom became an alcoholic when I was in 6th grade. My life was “leave it to beaver” until then. As a child, I felt anger, extreme hurt and a need to fix both of my alcoholic parents. But around 27 yrs old, someone told me that it was time for me to leave my parents at the altar. I had to stop thinking that I was their savior. I had to let them go and leave them at the altar. It liberated me. My shoulders were lighter and I gave them to God so He could take care of them. About five years following that decision, my mother hit rock bottom, and got sober. She has been clean now for 20 years, and she is a new creation. God took care of both of them in His due time, and I was allowed to have a life I would never have lived had I not placed them on the altar. We think we are giving them the best help by continuing to care for them when sometimes… the best help is just waiting for us to stop helping and let go– so God can take over!”
When asked about her writing method for starting a project, she explained “My method was, I knew what the bones of the book was going to be; speaking in the present time of my life, and then, in the next ten chapters, it was just flashbacks. I didn’t worry about the order of things. I just waited for God to give me a theme or a particular memory that happened in my life. Then I prayed that God would show me what I needed to write about it, showcasing what I had and what I lost. I wrote a bunch of scenes and then put them in order. It played out like a movie. It was present time and then flashbacks and then ended back with my life currently. Like a bookend story. To tell a story but to tap into life lessons, so the reader can relate to the struggle and learn from it. That was my goal!”
I asked Andrea to describe the most important life event she ever had, and she recalled: “My life has been a Domino effect. I was Inspired to write this book when my mother confessed to me five years ago that my biological father was not a deadbeat dad, as she had purposely led me to believe, and that he did come back for me—that’s the opposite of what I was told growing up. I was always told that my biological father was bad. After getting clean and turning her life around, my Mom made her confession to me that my father was not a bad man. Mom made amends with me by telling me that my dad was not a deadbeat at all. He did in fact come back for me when I was a little baby, but my mom turned her back on him. He even paid child support for the first years of my life until my mom married an American soldier and moved to America. Finding out that my dad did want me led to forgiveness toward my mom and restoration of the relationship, which led to searching for my dad and finding him. It was The Confession that led to the search for my father. And that confession happened because my mom got sober which would have never happened if I had not placed her on the altar and walked away from feeling responsible for fixing her life!”
After hearing the domino effect that has unfolded in Andrea’s life, I questioned her. “What message do you want shared by the story of your life?” She responded “The message I think would be that God doesn’t waste our pain. He takes everything in our lives and prepares us for something; we don’t see it, but He uses everything for His glory. There are no random events. He uses the random events to bring us back to the place He had planned all along for us. It was all worth it to see how God used everything, all of it, to bring all of us, my mom, my father and me—to today.”
Attempting to find the spiritual nugget of knowledge in her journey, I asked her “What would you tell others about your relationship with Christ that would inspire them?” She answered with passion- “Before I was with Christ, I was the daughter of an alcoholic. The world would have discounted me. I was poor white trash. With Christ, I am a daughter of the King. I learned that through Him, there’s purpose in your life. He has a plan for my life. I know who I am now, and I look at people differently. There’s a quiet confidence when you are walking through life knowing that God has your back. It’s both indescribable and unfathomable. I can’t imagine life without Christ!”
I then asked her “What is your theme scripture and why?” Andrea answered thoughtfully “Psalm 139:16 All the days are written in your book before one of them came to be. He knows what our life is going to look like… before any day has even come to be! Tomorrow is already written. Trust His plan!”
So it came that time in the conversation when I ask my now signature question—“What will they write on your gravestone that will sum up your life?” She thought for a minute and then said with confidence “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called! Cherish the fear!”
When I asked her “What inspires you?” She shared with me the touching story of Lisa. Andrea told me “People who take risks inspire me– those willing to take a risk to overcome things or take a risk to restore a relationship or take a risk… and just apologize. Risk takers are not people who play it safe and live in a beige world. The risk takers are the ones who take an emotional risk. I am drawn to people who beat the odds– the underdog, those who think outside of the box. There was a prostitute I met named Lisa, the unlikely teacher of my life. I watched her work for years, on the corner, outside of the Pregnancy Center I run in Sanford, Florida. Year after year, I wondered “was there more to her?” One day, I bumped into her while going to the dumpster, taking out some trash. I devoted a chapter to her in my book. Our relationship continued for 10 months. Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her as a prostitute. God pealed back the layers and revealed her to me. I saw her as a woman, not a prostitute. As a result of my accepting Lisa and her trusting me, I have 15 prostitutes and crack head women who are now a part of my ministry. Some of these women become pregnant and placed their children for adoption and have not gone through abortion – all because I took out the trash and met a “teacher” named Lisa. I am drawn to those who want to get involved. People don’t want to be fixed, they want to be understood. God fixes them. You are not judging them. People often say when I tell Lisa’s story that “you changed my whole perception of street people!” I teach my team at the Crisis Center a method to reach our clients with: SOS (Scared Overwhelmed Strength) – find the strength to just tell them how proud you are that they came to see us at the center. Glad you came. They cannot believe that someone would be proud of them. I used SOS with Lisa, and it worked.”
Andrea continued, “Sadly, Lisa’s story did not end a happy one. I put together a funeral for the girl who was murdered on that same corner where I first found her – Lisa had been killed. There was no family and no money, so we put together a funeral. I found out at the funeral, when her friends came to pay their respect to her– that Lisa had told the others that I was to be trusted. She was a teacher to me! I enjoyed being with Lisa. Some of my favorite moments were me picking up a couple of hamburgers from McDonald’s and inviting her into my office, and we would just talk about life and share our day. I enjoyed being with Lisa because she was so real. She taught me not to judge people by what I see – I still miss my Lisa today!”
Wow! She had saved the best for last – I felt as if I knew Lisa, and I mourned her untimely death and yet, I too felt that Lisa “The Teacher” had taught me also – Everyone Has something to say – Listen and Learn!”
As we ended our conversation, I was convinced– I would never forget someone I had never met. Lisa will live on with me – her lessons applied to my life, and Andrea had just let Lisa teach another class!
Find Andrea Krazeise’s book “He Came Back For Me – A Journey to Restoration” in the Xulon Press Bookstore.
